Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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