the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
