Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Operation Purity has been aborted
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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