is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
