I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
