My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize