I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
