I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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