who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
