butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize