Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
