If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize