the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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