We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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