Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize