Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
