Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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