I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
