Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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