Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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