Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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