I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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