craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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