idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
