Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Randomize
