God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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