Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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