I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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