did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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