so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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