Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
