i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
