i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
