What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
