i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
