Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
