Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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