Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
