if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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