You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
