I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
YAS. BRING CRAB.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
