hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
