tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
