How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
