If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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