Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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