so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
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I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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