So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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