FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
