At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
