i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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