sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
