community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
