Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think i have herpe
just one?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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