whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Randomize