I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
