Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
