We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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