She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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