Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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