I am puke
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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