if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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